Resumed office

Was on leave for a couple of months. Resumed office 4 days ago. Had a great time in your company Rishu. I hope the time that we spent together, will set a deep bond in your subconscious for papa. I loved every bit of it.  Today when i got ready and came out of the room, you did not know that i was still in the house. You were very seriously flipping the pages of your book. I thought you have already grown up. :-)

I love you

Papa

Piku turns pukie!!

If its because of God, then thank you God for keeping me alive while my child is vulnerable and can't take care of himself. Don't take me away until Rishu is able to take care of himself both emotionally and physically. I know his mother would pray the same if not more.

We went for a movie today evening - 'Piku!' Decided to take Rishu along and carried his milk bottles. Fed him one on the way to the theater and let him savor some popcorns and corn- although we consider it a sin to feed him such junk. But this was one off case we let it slip and for the sake of our entertainment. Then in the middle of the movie- we gave him his second bottle while he was getting difficult to manage (already, Papa and Rishu had spent the first half outside the hall as Rishu preferred that. Love u cutie). May be after that he was playing with the water bottle and suddenly the corn or water choked his throat while he was one my lap. And there, he puked. Immediately, i picked him up and rushed him out as he continued choking and puking (once earlier also you choked and puked like this while you had bitten and swallowed a part of a small plastic spoon- some other day). Plus, the darkness in the hall must have been intimidating for my boy.  While leaving papa asked mumma to stay put as papa could have handled it. We were out of the hall and started rushing towards the men's room while both were drenched in puke. It was so terrifying to see, Rishu those 2-3 minutes. First he was scared of what was happening to him. Secondly he was unable to understand the situation and obviously, maintain his own calm. He was not able to stand that well on the washing platform. Mumma had joined us already a little earlier before we made it to the wash room.

Rishu kept wanting to be picked, i think by me. A breeze of happiness in my mind while still both maa and papa were focusing on cleaning him and changing him. "My kid wanted me! Me?!"

By the time we cleaned up Rishu, he had calmed down. Yes i think, he was a bit shaken by the whole episode. I looked at his mom, and she was still in a state of shock. Its amazing how mom's can be so strong for their children's wellbeing and at the same time can't see them in pain. Thankfully, mumma was able to quickly gain her santiy back. But i could see that she was feeling guilty that she let him eat all those things and did not care for him just for the sake of her entertainment. Rishu, it was not the case. Your mom has been having tough days since quite long. But its no use explaining her that she should not blame herself. Mother after all!

Well, we decided to leave the movie and head home. Past a few minutes of driving, you became so calm in your mother's arm. You kind of fell asleep. I am blessed to have seen all that. How in a mother's lap, her child feels so safe and gets all his peace and how knowing that her baby is alright, relieve all her stress instantly and lets the mother finally breathe! I wish, even dads were blessed to feel that connection with their children.

How I wish Rishu, this could have remained a part of your conscious memory. That would have been God's best gift to you after your mother.

Happy Birthday (posted on May 13th - photos posted later).

Its been long since i have posted. I am sorry Rishabh. I have no excuse. It was your 2nd birthday and we all celebrated. At first we thought we will hire a place and do something bigger than the last time. But, both your mom and i agreed that we would like to host it in the rented apartment - no matter how small it was. We celebrated your birthday on sunday (29th) as it would be easier for people to attend. But the main intention was to be with you the whole day.

We called a couple of kids from the society and a couple who are close friends. We got some stuff from outside and made some stuff. We had some nice South Indian meal, Pizzas, thandai, and of course the cake. Your mom, put placards on the dressing table which was basically the small almirah tops in which you toys and clothes are kept. Tell you what, i liked your mom's idea, it kind of made the serving look so pretty - it was simple but so pretty to me. You received so many many presents. You bhua, phupha ji and deeds sent you so many big gifts. They sent you an electronic guitar, finger puppets, soft toys and i think music laptop. She also sent you some animals. Mom and dad gave you bowling set, dada and dadi gave you a cricket bat, ball and stumps. Your thatha and amamma also gave you something but i am not aware what.

Do you know what was the best thing for papa on that day. You kissed him during the celebrations, not once but many times while papa was holding you and you hugged him so well. The best give i could ever receive.

And yes, do you know, papa and mummy planned out a whole Rishabh birthday week. We took you to Juhu beach one morning- (27th morning) (only the three of us). Cant quite recollect what was there for the evening. I will check with mom.

The next day we went to Taraporewala Acquarium. But there was such huge queue and it was so hot, we had to decide otherwise. So we took you on a ride and then we came back home. In the evening, as planned, your mom taking you to spend time with your Ammama and Thatha at their residence.

The next day afternoon, we took you to a place in Lower Parel which is called- "Milk". Its a place where kids play in a huge space with so many stuffs around. You have a fetish for cars. You found one and did not at all want to come out of it. Mummy and papa took turns to drive you with their push.  The same evening, we took you to Marine Drive for a horse bagghi ride followed by Rustam ice-cream and church gate. That was on your mom's list for so long. You were amused and you kept observing things from the horse back.

Rishu, the best gift that God has given us till date is you and your happiness.

Love you baccha

Papa

Parent teacher meeting

We attended our first official parent teacher meeting yesterday (well i am posting this on 10th April 2015 but this is intended to be posted on 25th March 2015).

I can't believe that the schools have become such a business that they make a report card of a less than 2 years old child. No doubt parents must also be demanding to see 'results' as they are paying huge money. So much of pressure parents build on such small children. Horrible!

The teacher showed us Rishu's report card and told us that all is ok with him (as if we need certification for that) but  he needs to mix up more. Mix up more? Madam - he is baby. Hellow !!

My kid is absolutely fine and happy. He will learn and do at his own pace. I will not let anyone or anything ruin it !

Rishbu, we have no expectations from you to be this or that. Just live your life happily and do what you want to do with it.

Love you Chupuli!!

The hand...

Kid you are too small to understand. But if you ever read this blog when you grow up, perhaps you will register if not understand. I will be happy if you just register. Although i would want to take away any negativity out of my conversation about you or with you in this blog, what i am going to advise you today may sound negative. My advice for the advice that i am going to give you - read and register my advice in simple terms of understanding - without any emotions.

My advice is -

"There can never be equality or equals in any relationship. One will always have an upper hand over the other. If you want to be happy with yourself, always have the upper hand".

Love you

Papa  

Little big things :-)

Every physical object that has caught his interest and which he has touched becomes dear to me as  there are memories that each such thing has created for me which associate with my boy!

Love you Rishu-Papa.

Rishbish (latin for Rishabh's lingo that even Harry Potter can not understand!)

Rishbish - a human attempt to decode ...

"Tappatta" chappal (foot wear of any kind -irrespective it fits or not);

"Aul dya" Aur do or give me more  (most used term by Rishu if he wants more to eat or drink or if he wants food or a drink that he sees someone else having);

"nai" No - not to be mistaken for the hindi for a barber / hair dresser;

"de de" give me right now or taking me out there (primarily for take me out of the house);

"baba" mobile or tablet or computer for viewing baby rhymes on YouTube or may be term used for rhymes used on youtube through mobiles / tablets. Its still uncertain but statistics suggest baba may mean mobile or tablet;

"papal or papala or babal" water;

"tata"  dirty or ill or hurt or something bad of physical nature. Papa tata and Mamma tata may be interpreted accordingly;

"totetetedede diya" something happened - god only knows what this means. But sure it means something;

"a (from the epiglotis)" sudden surprise - and you better be surprised or else "a" won't have any meaning; 

"bo bo" dog;

"moooo" cow;

"tau tau" croak;

"appa or upph" take me up to that white board which has magnets on it;

"bee or bebee" sorry ! not wife -  bee or bebee is a pen;

"nok or nou" pencil;

"daddhi daddhi daddhi daddhi" rejoice or fun;

"butsch" tooth brush;

"ptisch" fish; 

"tal" car; 

"bullbullbullbullabulla" still working on it; and

"udit" god know what man...

  

Shooo..

Rishabh loves playing with shoes ... and i love it when he steps his tiny feet into my shoes and walks all around. "Tappatta" is what he calls it. So for all of us, its not chappal any more - its Tappatta. 

Love you Rishu Rhisbu  

Oh Shit ...! ;-o

Did you know, if your baby is not able to take a dump, there is a small mini missile looking capsule (very greasy), that needs to be inserted in its anus? Its called, rectal glycerin suppository (RGS). I (papa) was given the tough job yesterday, of shoving it in him while mom and the help coercively held him wide open. I am sorry Rishabh :-(.  It would hurt you bad i guess (as i don't recall anything shoved up to me ever). Yes, he did not take it comfortably. I tried 3-4 times but could not do it. Recall the irritation when you are trying to wear eye lenses and they just won't set and you can't even go rough, or the desperation when you are unable to dig that tiny snot out. I felt some thing like that while i tried to put in RSG. I know that he did not enjoy it either ... enjoy it? grosseee...!

This is how the RGS looks  - my my... comes in quite some shapes and sizes...

Then i went for my lunch. And may be in 5 minutes the capsule melted inside him and his favorite spot for taking a dump is not on the potty seat but in his diapers while he is dancing on my lap with unsettling postures. He has been doing it for quite a while now. But i can't forget his face while he was concentrating on launching it out. I am certain that the display of mixed emotions on your child's face is unique. He was crying, while he was trying and he was struggling to take those momentary sighs of relief at appropriate times. You know what i mean- haven't you desperately tried to take a dump before?

Thank you Amamma !!

Delayed posting - was intended for October 2014 or before.

Dadi and Dada have returned from the US few days ago.  In their absence of nearly four months, Rishabh's amamma stayed with us. Ammama is a loving, caring and very particular when it comes to certain things about handling a child- you can not breach those parameters ;-).  The days began with Amamma making Dosais for Rishabh and feeding him breakfast. If Amamma is around, be assured, Rishabh is fed in time, with the right things. I have noticed Rishu doing new things and responding appropriately. Amamma believes that you need to make consistent and conscious efforts with children Rishu's age to show them different things, expose them to varies experiences and converse with them like adults. That helps in the child's learning. Clearly, it is helping. Most credit goes to her for her undying efforts. Mom and Dad have been in office mostly.

Its very difficult for parents to entrust their child with anyone else. 24 hours you are worried of his whereabouts and wellbeing. But with Amamma in the house, not once i felt like that. She has been so at it with Rishabh. Very giving! Hats off and a big thank you. Although at times there has been a difference of opinion between us but that never prevented her from doing what is best for Rishu and we both respect that. We wish, Rishu gets more time with his Amamma the same way after she returns from the US.

SIL is going to deliver another baby. God!! Amamma is going to US to help. With such health situation, i don't know how MIL will manage. As much as i know her -her back and spondilisis are not going to back her down. Only one complaint, she should really take care of herself.

Thank you Amamma for being there...

Nearing 2

In a month, Rishu will be 2 years old. His energy levels are so high and is a very happy child. Thank you god! I need to be 10 years younger to match is pace. Like a chimp he runs here and there, gets on the table tops and at times hurts himself. He scratched my nose from inside so bad, it started bleeding internally. Since last couple of months, he is growing a bit violent. I think he needs to let out his energy and we need to find better ways. How to teach him not to hit? I mean, without showing a strict face and all? Yesterday, i got a bit annoyed and looked at him with somebody is gonna get hurt real bad look. I saw some scare in his eyes. I felt so bad and hated myself for it. But if i don't do this, how do i control him for his better? And then, he immediately avoids making eye contact and then slowly looks at me and says 'papa' in his tender tone. Pooffffff... there goes my effort for a toss! Its do difficult for me to be the stricter parent. Wifey, sorry but now the strategy is, that you are going to be the danger parent of the two of us. His speaking skills are developing slowly but he is learning fast.

Day after day, i can only fall more in love with him. I now understand, how difficult it is for parents to let go of their child. I will make the most until he gets on with his own life. I hope he does not go too far from us. 

Yesterday, i saw a movie in which the lead loses his wife and child who is almost the same age as Rishu. It made me mad. I couldn't take the idea of will this happen to me? I don't think i can survive without them. I have to do everything to protect them. Even if, i have to be the bad guy! One day when Rishu will be a father, i know he will understand!